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Jokes
Mar 31, 2009 18:52:25 GMT -5
Post by elphie on Mar 31, 2009 18:52:25 GMT -5
AAAH that's awesome. Since this is your thread, do you want me to keep posting quizzes? I have a crapload of them.
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Jokes
Apr 1, 2009 15:41:46 GMT -5
Post by Firefly on Apr 1, 2009 15:41:46 GMT -5
sure it's fine. If you don't, I'll put a crapload of crap on this thread. LOL.
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Apr 1, 2009 16:06:12 GMT -5
Post by elphie on Apr 1, 2009 16:06:12 GMT -5
Ok...
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Jokes
Apr 1, 2009 16:10:42 GMT -5
Post by Firefly on Apr 1, 2009 16:10:42 GMT -5
I'm not very happy. Some stupid kid made a comment about scoliosis that I don't remember exactly, but I'm still mad. Stupid freakin' person.
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Jokes
Apr 1, 2009 16:15:51 GMT -5
Post by elphie on Apr 1, 2009 16:15:51 GMT -5
insensitive, discriminatory ass clown.
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Apr 1, 2009 16:24:08 GMT -5
Post by Firefly on Apr 1, 2009 16:24:08 GMT -5
I was thinking that. B****y guy. I hate the guys here. Another tried to drop a book on my friend's head. I'll explain later, in chat, if it will work. Gotta try it again.
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Jokes
Apr 1, 2009 16:37:03 GMT -5
Post by elphie on Apr 1, 2009 16:37:03 GMT -5
PM me if you're in chat. I had a computer freak-out (don't worry, not the worm) and got kicked offline, but it's all good now.
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Apr 2, 2009 7:40:24 GMT -5
Post by Firefly on Apr 2, 2009 7:40:24 GMT -5
never worked, i hope to have extra time tomorrow or over the weekend.
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Jokes
Apr 6, 2009 21:07:11 GMT -5
Post by elphie on Apr 6, 2009 21:07:11 GMT -5
This is harder than it looks! Answer the questions using ONE WORD ONLY
1. Where is your cell phone? unknown
2. Your significant other? ha
3. Your hair? long
4. Your mother? table
5. Your father? hmmm
6. Your favorite thing? chocolate
7. Your dream last night? KITT
8. Your favorite drink? cappucino
9. Your dream/goal? Broadway
10. What room you're in? computer
11. Your hobby? writing
12. Your fear? heights
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? onstage
14. Where were you last night? here
15. Something that you aren't? rich
16. Muffins? Blueberry
17. Wish list item? money
19. Last thing you did? spoke
20. What are you wearing? clothes
21. Your TV? old
22. Your pets? cats
23. Friends? some
24.Your life? busy
25. Your mood? grumpy
26. Missing someone? yes
27. Your car? chevy
28. Something you're not wearing? socks
29. Your favorite store? Sephora
30. Favorite Holiday? halloween
31. Your favorite time? bed
32. Your favorite color? black
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? months
36. One place that I go to over and over: doctor 38. My favorite place to eat: outback
39. One place I would like to go right now: bed
41. One TV show I watch all the time: KNIGHT RIDER
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Jokes
Apr 7, 2009 18:55:30 GMT -5
Post by Firefly on Apr 7, 2009 18:55:30 GMT -5
1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? what?
3. Your hair? mop
4. Your mother? couch
5. Your father? big
6. Your favorite thing? KITT
7. Your dream last night? Annikan
8. Your favorite drink? milk
9. Your dream/goal? singer
10. What room you're in? living
11. Your hobby? writing
12. Your fear? dark
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? college
14. Where were you last night? bed
15. Something that you aren't? rich
16. Muffins? chocolate
17. Wish list item? money
19. Last thing you did? tv
20. What are you wearing? clothes
21. Your TV? bad
22. Your pets? cats
23. Friends? few
24.Your life? ok
25. Your mood? hyper!!!!!!
26. Missing someone? nopez
27. Your car? none
28. Something you're not wearing? shoes
29. Your favorite store? hastings
30. Favorite Holiday? Christmas
31. Your favorite time? sleep
32. Your favorite color? lavendar
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? yesterday
36. One place that I go to over and over: school
38. My favorite place to eat: chinese
39. One place I would like to go right now: outside
41. One TV show I watch all the time: KNIGHT RIDER
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Jokes
Apr 9, 2009 16:17:49 GMT -5
Post by Firefly on Apr 9, 2009 16:17:49 GMT -5
An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes.
When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?"
"Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream."
"Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it."
"My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. "No problem -- a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don't need to write it down."
He goes into the kitchen; his wife hears pots and pans banging around. The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.
She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for?"
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Jokes
Apr 9, 2009 16:20:33 GMT -5
Post by Firefly on Apr 9, 2009 16:20:33 GMT -5
Party Games for People Over 50:
-- Sag! You're It! -- Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy -- 20 Questions Shouted in Your Good Ear -- Kick the Bucket -- Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over -- Doc, Doc, Nurse -- Simon Says Something Incoherent -- Musical Recliners -- Spin the Bottle of Mylanta -- Hide and Go Pee -- Bobbing for Dentures -- Telling Ghost Stories in the Oxygen Tent
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Jokes
Apr 9, 2009 18:16:46 GMT -5
Post by elphie on Apr 9, 2009 18:16:46 GMT -5
*laughs hysterically* OMG those are awesome!
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Jokes
Apr 9, 2009 18:28:16 GMT -5
Post by elphie on Apr 9, 2009 18:28:16 GMT -5
WORDS WOMEN USE ****************************** FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
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Apr 9, 2009 21:07:34 GMT -5
Post by Firefly on Apr 9, 2009 21:07:34 GMT -5
Diary of A Blonde:
Jan: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. Feb: Fired from Pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Hellllooo!!! Bottles don't fit in typewriter!!! Mar: Got really excited, finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months - box said "2-4 years"! Apr: Trapped on escalator for hours - power went out May: Tried to make Koolaid - wrong instructions - 8 cups of water won't fit in those tiny packets! Jun: Tried to waterski - couldn't find lake with slope Jul: Lost long breast stroke swimming contest - learned later the other swimmers cheated - they used their arms! Aug: Got locked out of my car in rain storm - car swamped because soft top was open Sep: The capital of California is "C" - isn't it??? Oct: Hate smarties - they are so hard to peel! Nov: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days - instructions said an hour per pound - I weigh 108! Dec: Couldn't call 911 - duh - there's no 'eleven' button on the phone!
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